Looking forward

I have been in the remote north (well.. more central but north to most of us) British Columbia for over a month now and back from my first and only vacation of the summer. The summer has been strange for the entire province with too much rain causing flooding and a bright green glow throughout nature. This job provides me with a large amount of time to think about what I want and how to get it. Sometimes, too much time to think can be dangerous and I admit it has made me slightly more insecure than I have ever been before. It has also given me time to learn to crochet, plan my school schedule, and watch entirely too much glee and weeds episodes. Now that I'm rambling on, I should get to the point. I felt at the beginning of this year that it would be a learning year. Beginning with my trip I have discovered more about myself than I thought I could. I am still unsure of where I belong in the career world, but I know that I am a care taker and so far Nursing seems to be the right option for that. I also have learned that I need to be a leader in some way and that I enjoy socializing more than anything else. Being at a job with little human interaction has been hard for me. However, after a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself I decided to use the spare time I had to find myself. I began practicing yoga and meditation again. I admit, I haven't been keeping up with it after I began to socialize again, but I am always conscious of my breathing wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. Now, I have committed to living in a city bigger than one I've ever lived in, finally getting a chance to feel like I am an adult and more responsible than I was dependent on my parents for food and shelter. I have also committed to living with the man that I am in love with, and to deal with him being away half of the time. I have committed to a school program and a loan to get me through that program that is unlike my previous degree. I am excited and nervous and interested in seeing what the future holds for me. I am trying to keep up with my fundraising non for profit but find it difficult despite the increased time I have been given with this job. I suppose I am not as motivated with everything else that's new arising in my life. I have decided that I will join a club and a fitness class of some sort when I'm in school. First, it gives me a social interaction apart from my program. Second, it will give me my confidence back and increase my leadership skills.

I believe that everybody should be a part of a club.. be it artsy, school related, fitness or other. Whether you are a leader or a follower, extroverted or introverted, there is always a place for you in a club. Even if I am focused on school I know that without something else to distract me I still won't be doing 100% without that crucial social interaction and something that brings up the level of my endorphins.

I have begun thinking about all of the things I will need to live on my own in a large city. I have most important things such as a bed, a dresser, even a television. I am lacking, however, a couch and table and chairs. I am also lacking cleaning supplies and of course simple decor.

This is a new time in my life though and I look forward to every moment.